This article is Van Kleiss's Quotes Page!
This page contains all important quotes made by or about the aforementioned character. If you have found a significant quote that is not seen on this page please add it, being sure to list it under the appropriate section.

See also

Season one

The Day That Everything Changed

Van Kleiss : (to Rex Salazar ) Enough of this foolishness. You were here when it happened, Rex, we both were! Stay here and all your questions will be answered!

Van Kleiss: We are not all savages, Rex. Some E.V.O.s are capable of so much more. You have only just begun to realize your full potential.

Van Kleiss: Not everyone's relationship to the nanites is as... cooperative as yours. For example, my body is unstable. I need a constant supply of fresh nanites to survive. Yours should be particularly nourishing!

Leader of the Pack

Van Kleiss: Of course, I'd hate for anyone to jump to the wrong conclusion.

Van Kleiss: Unlike Providence, we're not here to promote violence.

Van Kleiss: I have to admit, Rex, you have me a bit stumped on this one. Taking out your frustrations on a wall?

Van Kleiss: We will not be ignored. Circe understands this. Why don't you respect her judgement?

Dark Passage

Jungle Cat: The path is clear, Van Kleiss. I'll continue ahead.
Van Kleiss: The newest member of The Pack, seems to be working out well, wouldn't you agree?
Biowulf: You should've stay in Abysus, master. Even with this suit and soil from home, your powers are weak. 
Van Kleiss: This is no ordinary area, Biowolf. An old friend is just announced his return. Dr. Rylander's calling card of the Consortium, offers and interesting prospect. A limitless supply of active nanites. All that power...anytime, anywhere!

Van Kleiss: Truth, doctor? You wouldn't know the first thing about it, nor loyalty for that matter. How many times must I tell you this, Rex? The answers you so desperately seek, lie with me. And as for you, doctor, consider our past disagreement settled. I look forward to continuing our research...alone. This was unavoidable, Rex. The longer you resist me the more people get hurt.

Van Kleiss: (to Rex) Rylander has always been on borrowed time. All of this belongs to me now. Destroy me, and you lose everything.

What Lies Beneath

Rex: Are you kidding me? I brought you back. What more do you want?
Van Kleiss: (Chuckles) You know exactly what I want. It's simple really: join us and everyone you care about lives. Refuse, and they die!
Rex: Fine! Now help them!

Rex: A deal's a deal.
Agent Six: What deal?
Doctor Holiday: What's he talking about?
Rex: It was the only way to save you.
Van Kleiss: Welcome home. (Offers his hand)
Agent Six: Rex, don't do it!
Doctor Holiday: We'll find another way!

Van Kleiss: This... is impossible. I was incurable!
Rex: That's right, was. I noticed something when I was plugged into that machine of yours. You were coming back, but as Van Kleiss-lite.
Van Kleiss: You may have temporarily relieved me of my powers but my greater strength is left still untouched.
Rex: What's that, your hair?
Van Kleiss: My intellect.


Van Kleiss: You took something very precious from me, Rex. And now I'll be returning the favor.
Rex: If you want my monkey, you can forget it!
Van Kleiss: It might come as a surprise to you that when you stole the nanites that gave me my power, you left some of your own behind. Enough to tell me a few things about what makes you tick.

Season two


Van Kleiss: You would be wise to consider delaying your celebration for the moment, Rex. You're about to have your hands quite full.
Rex: Oh really? And how do you figure that?

Rex: I was wondering when you and your hair would show up again, Van Kleiss.
Van Kleiss: Back to your old self again I see. And how are those new abilities developing?


NoFace: There was one who tormented us. Humiliated us. The grower of machines.
Van Kleiss: Ah Rex. Another thorn we share. My proposal is simple: you control a formidable legion. I, in turn, can provide escape and the vengeance you seek. I can be you liberator. You can be my general. Together we will crush our enemies. Starting with the one you hate most. Now, then are we...
Biowulf: (Entering) Master, I have report.
Van Kleiss: This is a private conversation. Can't you handle the slightest detail without bothering me?
Biowulf: ...Of course, Master. It was nothing.

Van Kleiss: (To NoFace) Now, do you believe I deliver what I say? Will you agree to my leadership?
NoFace: We agree to it. Give him to us. NOW, NOW, NOW!!!
Circe: (Shocked) Van Kleiss, I did not bring Rex here so you could... He'll kill him!!
Van Kleiss: Never forget how I found you, Circe. What you were... before. (To NoFace) He's all yours. (Circe's face is shocked and horrified.)

Circe: (Pleading with Van Kleiss) Stop this, please! You need him alive!!
Van Kleiss: Alive, yes. Heart pumping, lungs breathing, but his mind? The less there is of that the better.
(Circe moves toward an unconscious Rex, but Van Kleiss stops her with his bio-mechanical arm)
Van Kleiss: Circe, I warn you: lift so much as one finger to help him and you are finished! (Circe walks away to think in peace about where her loyalties truly lie)

Van Kleiss: (to NoFace) You understand I need certain... assurances. If I free you, will you trust in my leadership and mine alone?

Rex: (After Van Kleiss protects Rex from NoFace's attack) I'm not driving a wedge between you, am I?
Van Kleiss: Well played.
Rex: Good news for me. For you - not so much.

Written in Sand

Van Kleiss: This phenomenon deserves my personal attention. What we seek is nearby. I can feel it pushing against me.
Rex: (Rex emerges from the sandstorm) Yeah? (Rex kicks Van Kleiss) How about kicking against you too?

Van Kleiss: I don't need my E.V.O allies when I can simply make more.
Rex: (After Van Kleiss creates a scorpion E.V.O. to attack Rex, it attacks him instead.) funniest thing I've ever seen! Hang on, I've got to get this on video! (Takes out cell phone and starts recording Van Kleiss dodging the scorpion E.V.O.)

Rex: Why are you causing this nanite-free zone?
Van Kleiss: How convenient it must be to make me the root of all evil. I'm not causing it. I've come to discover the source, and destroy it.
Rex: This could be the cure to nanites.
Van Kleiss: And I live off nanites. What Providence calls a "cure," I call death.

Van Kleiss: This is not simply a nanite free zone. Something is stealing the nanites from our bodies. We linger here too long, we both may find ourselves defenseless against the other.
Rex: Well then, we better blow this joint. And when I say we I mean me!
(Rex tries to escape and fails)

Van Kleiss: If either of us is to escape this place, we will have to work together.
Rex: What exactly are you suggesting?
Van Kleiss: A temporary truce.
Rex: An extremely temporary truce.

Van Kleiss: It appears that the zone not only destroys nanites. But is...
Rex: Squeezing the life from the Earth. This isn't sand. This is me!

Van Kleiss: No need to panic, Rex. We have at least 20 minutes before fossilization - give or take.
Rex: Don't panic. Says the guy who used to be dirt.

Van Kleiss: (to Rex): You don't have an investigative bone in your body, do you? So strong headed...just like your mother. (Rex is stunned) Oh, you don't like that, do you? That I know more about you than you do. (Walking pass Rex)
Rex: Skip the head games, isn't exactly a good time.
Van Kleiss: No. (sighs) But perhaps it is time for some truce.

Rex: Sell it somewhere else, I'm not buying. (Walks pass Van Kleiss)
Van Kleiss: Oh, so the great and powerful Providence is finally come through on their promise to help you remember your past?
Rex: Something better. Someone who is actually there at the Nanite Event.
Van Kleiss: Hah! Your brother...Caesar. (chuckles)
Van Kleiss: I've been following you both very closely since his...miraculous reappearance. Even if you don't want to hear what I have to say; this one is for free: Do not place your trust in Caesar. He's not the man you believe him to be.
Rex: (Taking out his BFS and threatens Van Kleiss) What are you getting at?
Van Kleiss: No no no. That is not how this works. It isn't my turn. Quid pro quo, Rex. If you want to know more... Why don't we start with something simple? Rylander's Omega Nanite. I know it's inside you.

Van Kleiss: So what you're saying is that the motor runs off of gravity, and the only exhausts are atoms of selenium?
Rex: Now you, Squid Pro...whatever! The nanites, the event, what started all of this?
Van Kleiss: He didn't tell you? Huh, I'm not surprised... It was Caesar. (Rex pushes Van Kleiss to nearest wall and takes out his BFS once again) Wasteful, Rex...
Rex: You're lying!
Van Kleiss: Hardly. Your brother is responsible for the most significant catastrophe in human history! You have to admit that, as brilliant as Caesar is, he's...not quite right. Am I telling you something that you haven't already noticed?

Rex: Back to back!
Van Kleiss: What?
Rex: Back to back! Haven't you ever read comic books?

Rex: You know Zag RS? How?
Van Kleiss: She was designed as a decontamination program in the original nanite laboratory. Her task was to destroy any rogue nanites that escaped from the holding tanks.
Rex: She did a great job. Whoever designed her should be taken out and beaten with a tendril.
Van Kleiss: Caesar designed her.
Rex: I'm gonna have to have a chat with my brother when this is over.

Van Kleiss: There's no time. Her strength is growing exponentially. To achieve victory you must trust me.
Rex: Trust you? That's comedy gold. Even if I was that big a doof neither of us has enough power to fight back.

Season three

A Brief History of Time

Septimius Severus: Are you a man or a God?
Van Kleiss: I find both labels rather limiting. Now you are going to give me everything I require. Starting with a quiet place to work. I, in return, shall ensure the growth and security of your reign as emperor. You may call me Van Kleiss.
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